In anticipation of tomorrow…

I just had to talk about the last Harry Potter.

I know, I know, I’m a grown woman, reading a children’s book? Reading all seven of them? Henry Rollins, much as I adore you, I’m gonna have to disagree with you one this one – there’s nothing wrong with that. Especially since I’m reading Richard Dawkins in my spare time. (Sorry, HDRAM – though you’ll be happy to know that his smug, incredulous tone is really starting to wear on my nerves).

Anywho, I thought I’d type out a few of the predictions I’ve been propounding in public for the last year – just to set it down in print in case I’m actually right about any of them. You know, to prepare the way for self-congratulatory future blog posts. Yay.

1) Harry will live – but only barely. Yeah, that one really came out of left field, right? Naw. Rowling might have the guts to market an entire children’s book series – and keep an audience of millions on tenterhooks for years – only to finally kill off the main character, but I don’t think her editors would let her. They’d have a mass boycott on their hands. And if Harry died, where would the market potential go? Action figures? Plastic glowy insta-wands? Knit-your-own-Gryffindor-scarf-kits? From a purely cynical standpoint, I don’t think Scholastic can afford to let Harry kick the bucket.

2) Harry is the last Horcrux. (You have to have read book 6 to get that one). Hence the reason Voldemort “shares” so much with Harry: Harry actually carries part of Voldemort with him. This ties in neatly with point 1, leading the reader to believe that the only way for Harry to ensure Voldemort’s eternal demise is to die himself. He’ll be saved at the last minute, perhaps by Dumbledore’s return (one can always hope, and Dumbledore did have a phoenix, after all… which must prognosticate something).

3) Snape actually is a good guy. Despicable, yes, but on the right side in the end. And he only killed Dumbledore because they had previously agreed on it – killing him then not only saved Malfoy from committing an unforgivable act (he is still redeemable at this point), but also would serve as an act which would truly convince Voldemort, once and for all, that Snape was with the Dark. (Snape could easily have killed Harry that night too, after all – why did he only jinx him a couple times? Because he wanted him to live and defeat Voldemort.)

Well, I think I posted this too late to garner many comments from other people – but if you’re still out there, and still haven’t read the last Potter book, wanna share some predictions with us?

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