Oh no you diin’t

OK so now that I’m a parent-to-be myself, I feel less guilty about being so judgmental about other people’s parenting. Still, I don’t know anyone – parent or not – that wouldn’t be horrified at the choice this couple has made for their daughter.

From the UK journal The Mail: “Your 16-year-old daughter falls for a divorcee of 36 and wants him to move in. Would you let him? Meet the parents who did.”

The mother is an absolute wuss, repeating over and over things like ” I know she is 16 and I can’t stop her”. Oh, really? Let’s see, you can’t, oh, call the cops on this guy? You can’t ground her and lock her in her room? Sell her car? Get a restraining order against that pedophile? You can’t send her to live with relatives in Australia? Hell, send her to work with the Peace Corps in Africa for two years, and see what she thinks about 16-year-old-mothers after that!

The mother blames society for the premature sexualization of her daughter (who’s had four sex partners before the age of 16), stating:

“Girls no longer get a childhood past about the age of ten when they are asked to make choices on what lipstick to wear or what jeans to buy.”

No, I’m sorry, but society didn’t go out and buy lipstick for your ten year old daughter – you did. You’re not alone – I have seen 10 year olds with lipstick and sexy jeans on before. Like three of them. In my whole life. And it always makes me sad, because I know how they’re probably going to grow up. You didn’t forsee that? No?

The mother says the father talked her into this arrangement because he thinks his daughter has to learn via making her own mistakes.

“We treated her like a mini-adult all along, never taking the attitude that because she was a child we should treat her as less of an equal.”

Oh, PLEASE. A child is not an equal. A child is not an adult. You have to earn the right to be an adult, through years and years of being told what to do until you learn to make the right decisions on your own. With such an obvious lack of guidance, is it any wonder that their daughter would make such a stupid life choice? Oh, wait, you think that’s normal:

“It seems we have raised a generation of children who believe they can do whatever the hell they like, without worrying about the consequences.”

No. You can’t claim to have “raised” your child. You fed her and clothed her, but otherwise you did crap-all as parents. You let your little hellion run around with no direction and no discipline, and now wonder why she chooses what she does and doesn’t see that it’s wrong. A few spankings here and there would have worked wonders. Maybe it’s not too late.
I would direct these parents to Violent Acre’s article on neglect as child abuse, but I’d add that discipline and guidance are also important parental duties whose neglect is nearly as bad as financial neglect. Without showing your child how to behave and make the right kinds of choices, you’re sentencing her to a lifetime of poor decision-making, which means she will have a hell of a time trying to better herself. Not to mention that your hands-off approach shows the kid that people need only have an excuse handy to avoid taking responsibility when things turn out poorly (see mother’s “society” quote above).

If you’re so worried about “losing your precious child,” then you better pick her up and get her the hell out of that situation, because just as soon as she can (she says) she’s not gonna be your precious baby any more. She’s gonna be some broke, uneducated, bastard child’s mama scraping a living for two on the UK equivalent of welfare. And because she’s 16 and romantic (ok, stupid) to boot, she’s looking forward to it.
I could go on forever and post the world’s longest and cattiest entry of vinegar and vitriol, but you get it. Blaming society? Try taking some responsibility for your own complete lack of parenting.

2 Responses to “Oh no you diin’t”

  1. Aaron M Says:

    Call the cops on him? Um, for what? Age of consent in Britain is 16. Pedophile? Please, D, let’s tone down the freaking hyperbole here. If you want to argue that attraction to a legal post-pubescent is a paraphilia, feel free, but how about not accusing the fellow of criminal behavior?

  2. Diana Says:

    So you’re right in that a) I should have checked the age of consent, and b) I meant “statutory rapist” instead of “pedophile”, which is also wrong (see a).

    But that the relationship is legal means jack squat to me. That’s not the point. A 20-year age gap is just gross, and the parents are complete retards. (Ever seen that formula where you divide the older person’s age by half and add 7, and if the younger person is any younger than that, it’s officially creepy?)

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