My husband hates me

J just used some impromptu tweezers he designed from skewers to clear out the U-bend in our slow-flowing sink. I applauded his initiative and manliness. Then he came in and showed the mess to me, and immediately lost all the man-points he had just earned.

It was the size of three mice. And black. And slimy. I think I’m going to barf.

And then he said he should compost it, and even though a part of me was like “I bet there’s lots of nutrients in that black, oozing rot,” I still begged him not to. I bet if he did, every time I go out there to turn the compost that mass would sift up from the depths and slime at me, like “BLEAURGH! WE ARE THE GOOP-PUBES FROM THE DRAIN DEPTHS OF DOOM!”

One Response to “My husband hates me”

  1. Katie Says:

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day. Thank you!

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