Driving home from my allergy shots yesterday (10 left of 38 and still haven’t started working, by the way), I met a neighbor that I think probably epitomizes why J is so terrified of my eagerness for poultry and livestock. I got stuck behind the schoolbus (why does that always happen?) and I saw him come to pick up about thirteen kids with a horse in tow. A little girl scrambled up on the horse and they all turned and started walking home.

Naturally I was super excited. A neighbor just a street away with enough land for horses? Surely they had other livestock too. And there were so many kids, I was sure they ran a daycare center. Perfect! So I rolled down the window and hollered and asked if they had chickens to and could I come see them?

Yeah I basically just invited myself over to a perfect stranger’s house. Turns out not only were the kids were all his but one, but he had a normal, city-sized lot. With two horses, three goats, three ducks, and about eight chickens (poor chickens, all in a less than 4×8 enclosure).

The guy was perfectly nice and I imagine I could probably ask him for some advice or get his oldest gal, who seemed like a sharp cookie, to come petsit for us. But I suddenly understood (I think) what J is afraid of.¬† He kept saying I’m going to turn into a scary hillbilly, and I’ve been so confused¬† – the picture in my mind this whole time has been of Martha Stewart’s chickens and farm. Beautiful, clean, spread-out, natural. I kept asking him what hillbillies had to do with animals.

All those animals, in such close confinement on such tiny land, did not smell so great. Even as clean as it all was (as clean as I have ever seen a barnyard) there was still an odor that might have bothered me if I were a neighbor. And a crowded-in feeling of unkempt-ness resulting from all the makeshift fences and broken stuff.

Rest assured, J. That is not what I have in mind. I have another vision.

Yup. That’s more like it.

One Response to “NOT ME”

  1. Aaron M Says:

    Where J and I grew up, you see, backyard livestock and scary hillbilly pretty much go hand in hand. :)

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